Finding Joy and Connection in the Face of Pain
I’ve been immersed in some great podcasts and books this week that have been very nourishing and I wanted to share some nuggets. These past few months have been tough on our collective nervous systems, with the unrelenting news cycle on pandemic deaths, unprecedented job losses, economic and health disparities, continued racial injustice. Part of me feels compelled to take in all the news because it seems like when there is so much suffering out there, the least I can do is be informed and try to think of more ways to take action. But like anything else, there’s a point of diminishing return and it’s important to be mindful of when we are reaching that point.
During my daily evening walks this week, I tried to shift to podcasts outside of the news realm. I found myself breaking into a huge smile multiple times as I listened and was struck by how much of an impact it had on my psyche to hear some joyful stories. I’m also reading a great book by Ram Dass. My heart was feeling so full from all this, and I could write multiple blog posts about each one. I will include links to all three at the end of this post if you are interested in checking them out. But if you don’t have time for new books and podcasts, here are a few tidbits:
Self-care and broadening our definition of self: I was listening to a podcast with john a. powell, the director of the Other & Belonging Institute, about racial justice and well-being. One theme that came up was around allowing ourselves to feel joy even during times of tragedy. He shared an example about his step-daughter, who has a brain tumor and has had numerous operations. Her brother, when they were teenagers, asked his mom if it would be ok to go to a camp and have fun. There was so much pain in their life, he had to ask permission to enjoy himself. And similarly now, during these times of so much grief, we should give ourselves space to hold the moments of both sadness and joy. In discussing self-care, he suggested we expand how we define self because what sustains us the most is each other. The pandemic has shown us how interconnected we are and how much we need each other.
Generosity: I listened to a podcast interview with the author John O’Leary and was so blown away I immediately got on hold for his books at the library. There is so much to share about his story. He had a childhood accident at age 9 and was burned on 100% of his body and given less than a 1% chance to live. He had a long painful road to recovery but has so much joy and wisdom to offer through his experiences and is now a motivational speaker. One story that stood out was when the podcast host asked about his own experience given the pandemic — his entire livelihood is built around traveling and speaking to large groups. His income dropped 94% in March due to the circumstances. He is on the board of the Boys & Girls Club of America and after realizing how many kids needed the meals they had previously gotten through being at school, he was moved to donate proceeds from his new book to their organization to help them – even though he did need the money himself.
This struck me because the pandemic has brought this heightened sense of scarcity in our society and I think many people are focused on themselves and what they need, each of us worrying whether we will be ok given all the uncertainty. This example of generosity inspired me to continue to look for more ways I can give and be of service to others.
Growth and connection in a crisis: I’m reading a wonderful book by the spiritual teacher Ram Dass. While writing this book, he suffered a debilitating stroke that left him partially paralyzed and in a wheelchair. He talks about how he initially struggled with the physical pain and loss of independence but soon came to see the stroke as a gift. It was a lesson in surrendering to the uncertainty, letting go of how we think things “should be”, and learning to accept things as they are. He said the years after his stroke turned out to be some of the happiest years of his life, in part because he had a deeper connection with the people who took care of him. All we can do is live our lives moment by moment and keep an open heart and open mind to what is here. It seems there is opportunity for growth and wisdom to be found in every seemingly undesired circumstance.
The common theme across all of these is centered around the power of our interconnectedness and allowing this to bring us joy even during the most difficult of times. For me, this was a good reminder that we should take a break from the news when we need to and look for the sources of inspiration that are all around us.
Here are the links to the podcast and book I mentioned if you’d like to check them out!
Science of Happiness: Podcast with john a. powell